Transparency, Authenticity, and Social Media

By Kyle McCabe | October 20, 2009

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Almost every “how-to” or list of tips on using social media includes some kind of advice on being authentic or transparent. I’m not convinced we all agree on what things like transparency and authenticity mean in this context.

Transparency
No one is really serious about full transparency. Full transparency would entail communication of every detail of your life. I don’t know about you, but I’m not too keen on the idea I should tell you when I use the bathroom or what my email password is. If I update a social app with the fact that I’ve left work, I don’t think I’m obligated to tell you where I’m going. Or who I’m meeting. Or what kind of drugs I’m buying. What?

Yes, the truth is there’s stuff I don’t want you to know about. Stuff you *shouldn’t* know. Not drugs, exactly – I’ve been clean for at least a few weeks. The point is “transparency” is sort of a misnomer – no one really means it. Translucent? The reality is probably more opaque.

Authenticity
When people tell you to be authentic in social media, I don’ think they’re saying what they really mean. For example, if I was “authentic” all the time, I’d probably be a brutally critical, abrasive, elitist, condescending douche. What’s that you say? How would that be different? Oh, you wound me. I am wounded!

But you see the point, don’t you? We each have personality traits that just aren’t suitable for social settings. This is why drunk people are so annoying. Unless you’re drunk, too. But if you’re drunk on Twitter, you’ve other problems beyond the scope of this blog (and don’t be looking back through my Twitter feed, now – that was just the one time).

What We Really Mean

I think what people really mean when they say “be authentic” is “don’t be a fakey liar.” Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I might be an abrasive ass, but I’m also a compassionate, helpful person. Which side should I show, socially? Am I being less honest by presenting the “good” side? Well, I’m probably not going to make many friends by letting my inner ass out. Wait, that came out wrong. Alright, it’s better to be nice, even if you don’t feel like it.

Be Nice
There’s truth in the saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Without my “inner filter,” my Twitter stream would be very different. Is this less honest or authentic? Absolutely – and that’s okay. It’s still me. All the best parts, in fact, with less of the crazy.

Be Helpful
Yet there’s more to it. It’s not just about showing the “best” side of you. It’s also about being helpful. We are social by nature, and being social means participating in community. Community is based on, among other things, the fact of mutual aid – that we’re interested and concerned in the doings of our neighbors, and have a stake – however small – in their successes and failures. Being social *is* being helpful, and it’s part of being yourself; being “authentic.”

Some of you will cry BS on that, and you’re not wrong. “Community,” per se, doesn’t have a place in business. But if you take a step back and look at the big picture, you might see that business does have a place in community.

Be You
So how do we wrap this all up in a nice little package? Well the questions is too subjective for all that. “Helpfulness” is different for everyone, as it depends on perception, reality, and a sort of social feedback loop. In my case I try to keep things lighthearted, because I think there’s not enough laughter in this business. We take ourselves too seriously.

For others it might make sense to be a bit of an egotistical elitist, because maybe that’s what inspires others in some way. Still others may remain strictly professional in manner, because that’s how they are helpful to their peers. Perhaps a combination of these and more.

So when we’re talking about social media, and we think of being “transparent” or “authentic,” it really just means “be honest, be nice, be helpful, but do it your way.” Be yourself, but be mindful of your community.

I’ve muddled through this landscape quite a ways, and I’m not sure where we ended up. Help me out in the comments.

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Photo courtesy of Yuliya Libkina

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